“Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing direction. You change direction, but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn’t something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. somethinginside you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn’t get in, and walk through it, step by step. There’s no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That’s the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine….
And you really will have to make it through that violent, metaphysical, symbolic storm. No matter how metaphysical or symbolic it might be, make no mistake about it: It will cut through flesh like a thousand razor blades. People will bleed there, and you will bleed too. Hot, red blood. You’ll catch that blood in your hands, your own blood and the blood of others.
And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
from “Kafka On the Shore” by Haruki Murakami.
An author who I only recently decided to start reading, and OH MY GOD! I am DEVOURING his books. I remember coming across his book at a friends house. He had at least seven or eight novels, and at first I thought they were maybe comic books, or a sequels and prequels kind of thing..like a grown up version of The Hardy Boys or Nancy Drew or something. After reading two books so far (Dance, Dance, Dance and Kafka On the Shore) I see why he had so many books. Murakami is just surreal. If you have not read him.. DO IT. NOW.
Its weird owning a blog with no concrete agenda or direction. I know I initially set this up to express my thoughts/things that annoyed me (well duh, you might say, why else would someone own a blog dummie) but I’ve gotten..well..hesitant. Its harder to express yourself than you would think. It hasnt gotten so much to do with articulation rather than content. Its not like my mind is empty- I’ll have thousands and THOUSANDS of thoughts running through my head all the time. Its just that they’re my thoughts, so I feel like if i try to write them down, they’ll either sound dumb or just way to strange for anyone to understand, but then I guess that’s the bloggers dilemma. Saying its hard to chose what thought to express when you’re blogging probably is as redundant as saying that growing up sucks because you’re not a kid anymore.
So let’s see if I can’t try and filter out the nonsense and give you something good to read (I guess it would be a first, wouldnt it :P). The second I mention filters, I think about vodka. No I’m not an alcoholic (im a drunk, alcoholics attend meetings bwaha). I just think of colored vodka because of this recipe for skittles flavored vodka that someone I know posted on facebook. You seperate skittles by color, put them into seperate bottles (5 in total, cause theres five colors apparently ) and pour vodka into all five bottles. The colors/flavors are supposed to mix into the vodka re. The filtering part comes in the end, when you’re supposed to use coffee filters to filter the nearly dissolved skittles. The end product looks quite beautiful actually. I shall try it one day when its appropriate to experiment with an entire bottle of vodka and not get yelled at for it…I do still live at home, and don’t know how anyone would react to colorful vodka….Also I’d need to find out where I can buy skittles in Ktm as well.
There’s another recipe that calls for throwing in a bunch of Carambar (er..basically caramel candy) into a bottle of vodka and letting it mix completely with the vodka. Unlike the skittles recipe, it takes much longer (say about a week) for all the caramel to completely dissolve after which you’re supposed to chill it (I think). The end result is, I guess would be like baileys? I dunno. I remember making it once, but I don’t think I put enough carambar in the bottle…or maybe the vodka was just too strong…I really want to try this one again though…maybe use something that’s easier to find though like cadbury’s eclairs. Would be awesome to try at a birthday party …hmmmmm.
In college we threw a dashain party my senior year (because the population of nepali students had grown to a decent enough size where labor and costs could be divided fairly!) and a girl showed up with a ziplock bag full of gummie bears. I hadn’t seen them in yeeaars and wondered why she’d bring candy to a lunch party…Okay fine, I lied. I was exctatic that she bought gummie bears. I had missed them so muuuch!! Then I figured it out. Turns out she soaked the gummie bears in rum a night or two they soaked up all the rum. I can’t tell you how strange it felt eating gummie bears and knowing that you’d be getting drunk…well…I guess its just as strange the first time you ever had a jello shot. Another wonderful creation.jello shots!!! That mix of pure childhood delight with, well, inebriation. Just a few ways to please both the grownup and child in you. I’m sure mixing rum with the gummie coke a cola candy would be cooler than the rum though.
FnB homies, take note…you could make MAD CASH on a friday serving skittle shots or jello shots at your bar. ESPECIALLY at a party. I am sure I’d be more willing to be ripped off for some colorful looking vodka than for a shot of tequila (maybe not but then again, who knows!?).
Man I miss college…Tonight would have been South Park margarita Night…followed by bowling.
Lets pretend like Im not at all worried of the fact that my life could completely change in the next 30 seconds through a few shakes and quakes. Lets pretend I have an amazingly detailed plan of action, with everything I would ever need to survive neatly organized into a high density polymer barrel and a go-bag. In fact, my neighbors are all just as equally prepared- we have a community response plan, shelter locations determined, food and water stocks securely stored. All people that I talk to know that being prepared could tip the scales in your favor. My government has an insanely detailed disaster response plan as well, it knows exactly how to respond to natural disasters and has ensured that the manpower and equipment needed for such responses is not centrally located and can be accessed by anyone anywhere in the country with great ease. Lets act like I have no trouble falling asleep, that I never imagine the ground collapsing underneath my feet, I’m not clastrophobic, and that the slightest vibrations do not freak me out bye bye clubs with wonderful bass 😦 We’ll pretend that despite my young age, I have already acheieved so much, touched so many hearts, and have had such an incredible impact in the world that I could die a happy man.
Lets carry on living like tomorrow will always come, that the worst has passed, and that disaster will strike home when we’re not so close to it. let’s hope the plates underneath western nepal do not release their 300 years of built up stress on this poor bastard while he’s in nepalgunj pretending to save the world
Seriously though, I am quite annoyed with the fact that noone seems to be running around frantically passing disaster preparedness legislature, or even initiating a public dialogue on the elements of preparedness. People can come together at the snap of a finger to repaint a brigde or a temple and say its for the betterment of Nepal, yet when it comes to matters like this…havent heard even a whisper… am i tuned into the wrong channels?
“We spend our lives searching like scavenges finding a way
Understanding that light is a sign of the day
So we squint in the darkness in search of a glow
And falter in trying, in trials we grow
Our hearts they seem broken
Our legs they are weak
Our tongues are exhausted from trying to speak
Cos sometimes they listen
But often they don’t
We easily help
But more often we won’t
Because we’ve constructed the things that we want
Ghosts our desires, desire to haunt
But our needs as below so above
What we all want should look a little more… like love.”
taken from the outro to Shad’s album ” The Old Prince”. An album of an arist who’s words and rhmyes just never cease to amaze me.